.. pissed on.. is that how it goes? Well then, consider me lucky I guess. I usually try to avoid talking about my ‘real life’ at Chez Mousie but I think that’s a tradition that is going to stop.. because I’ve got some verbal venom to get out of my system. So, if you come here for the knit and the spin of it all.. just click to another blog because there isn’t going to be any of that here today. This is the post where I tell y’all some of the shit that has been plaguing my life as of late.. and the reasons why I haven’t been saying a whole lot. Still with me?
About a month ago all hell broke loose at my husband’s job. Without going into a whole lot of details, I’ll say that it was a) another case of no one wanting to pay my husband (what the crap is with that??) b) a boss who really shouldn’t be the boss of anyone and c) a company that seemed good on the outside but on the inside had absolutely no morals. All of this plus more boiled up and over one day and my husband walked out- refusing to work again until a meeting was called and things were fixed. A letter arrived at the house 2 days later stating that my husband’s employment had been terminated due to totally bogus reasons… and he was ordered to return “company property” that he was supposedly in possession of. More bullshit to heap on top of the bullshit sundae that they served us around every turn of his employment.. and that was the cherry on top. Now, I’m not going to tell you that my husband is the easiest guy to get along with… because after 9 years of marriage I’ve been through a lot - but he by no means deserves this type of treatment on job after job. After almost a week of sitting around the house feeling rather shit-upon, my husband asked me if I would ‘mind’ if he tried to make a living on his freelance work with computer graphics and design because he really couldn’t stomach being treated like this again. For some reason.. I agreed.
Fast forward to ‘now’.. and here we are in the Land of the Self-Employed. I’m pretty sure that the term “freelance” actually translates roughly into “sit around and wait to be paid”.. because its what we seem to be doing. Everything has been re-budgeted within an inch of its life and I’ve got a really tiny weekly grocery allowance for 3 humans and a cat.. but the scary thing is that we’re ok like this. In fact, we’re more than ok.. its actually sort of nice to have my husband home so that he can come to pick up Munchkin at the bus stop, go to school functions, take me to the grocery store, etc. Its nice not to be home alone in an empty house until 4pm when Munchkin gets home and not have to rush to eat dinner at 730 or later at night when husband finally rolled in just so we could have some ‘family time’. There is a lot of creativity flowing in the house recently- my husband has really made progress in his design abilities and I’ve started work on a lot of new things that I’m hoping to mold into products for a yet unnamed Etsy shop. I’m hoping this situation was meant to kick us in the ass and force us to move out of a place that is comfortable so that we would realize the potential we have around us.
The verbal venom I’m feeling the need to spit everywhere is concerning people who can’t just leave well enough alone. There are some people in my life (who don’t read this blog, know about it, or have any idea that I’m a knit-blogger) who want me to be something I’m not and think that clearly I’m looking for the answer to make my life and everything in it bigger, better, faster and more. Just because I connect with these people on a few common things- they think that I strive to be something else.. something that society deems as “Better”.
Sure, I’d like to have money- who wouldn’t want to not have to worry about their bills, be able to take vacations, buy expensive items at the drop of a hat, and have a new car rather than a hand-me-down that barely works? Yes, I do covet things like designer handbags (oh Betsey Johnson “Lucky Bag”.. how I wanted you..) and make mental lists of places I’d shop if money was plentiful - but there’s another side to my personality. Its the side that decided that the acrylic nails that I had put on for my anniversary really weren’t going to work in the life that I have now- and that I should just take them off and stop pretending that I was happy with them. In reality, instead of buying one of those expensive handbags I’d probably just use the money to take a trip to a fiber festival, to visit a blogger I met online, buy things from other people’s online shops, or donate to some of the many organizations that I’ve learned about from blogs. I don’t want a mink coat, diamond rings, or a damn maid! I’m not you.. my morals are not your morals… please stop trying to make me into you. My “quality of life” doesn’t include a million dollar summer house in South Beach- I would just like to own a house with some land (I’ll settle for owning any house at all really..) and be able to rent more dvds from Netflix!
